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Exposing Psychology, Exalting Christ |
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| How Do You Honor Your Father and Mother When They are Not Saved?Answer: The fifth of the ten commandments that Moses received from God at Mount Sinai says, Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. (Exodus 20:12, KJV) The question we should ask is, what does honoring your father and your mother really mean? The Greek word for "to honor" in this verse means to prize, to fix a valuation upon, to revere, to value. So to honor your father and mother means to hold them in high regard and respect as the ones who you brought you into this world and raised you. They may not have done a very good job, but God calls us to respect our parents nonetheless. What does honoring your father and your mother not mean? It doesn’t mean you necessarily agree with everything they believe and do – you can respectfully disagree and still be honoring your parents. If your parents told you to rob a bank, you would respectfully refuse because you know that stealing is wrong. Take a more realistic example of your newfound faith in Christ. If your parents mocked your faith or accused you of being brainwashed or of joining a cult, you would respectfully correct them. In these two examples, you are obeying God above your parents, but still honoring and respecting them at the same time. This leads us to the pecking order when it comes to whom we obey. Jesus says we must love Him more than our mothers and fathers. Loving Him more does not mean you dishonor your parents. You still respect them, but you hold Christ in a higher place and choose to obey Him over your parents when the two conflict: He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. (Matthew 10:37-38, KJV) Loving God and following Christ in an unsaved family will undoubtedly cause some level of division within that family. Christ knew He would be a source of division for families who have some saved and some unsaved: Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes [shall be] they of his own household. (Matthew 10:34-36, KJV) It's awkward to try to have fellowship and a meaningful relationship with family who isn't saved, because there really isn't any fellowship to start with (light vs. darkness). A great way to approach this situation would be to tell your parents how you got saved and how you have experienced God's love and forgiveness. Showing your acceptance of them and your forgiveness of any wrongs will go a long way to mending the relationship, and could even help get them saved as they see how much God's grace has impacted your life. In fact, we see your sharing your faith with your parents as the ultimate honoring of your father and mother, because you desire to see them in heaven and their lives transformed. It would be dishonorable to say nothing and just allow your parents to continue in their sin for the rest of their lives and into eternity. You are honoring your father and mother by living a holy and godly life. Any parent should look highly on this (but unfortunately many do not). Satan may try to use the "honor your father and mother" verse on you to get you to stop praying for, and preaching to, your parents about Christ. See this accusation for what it is - a lie. Keep on doing what you are doing, and we hope and pray they come to repentance and a true faith in Christ that produces obedience to, and a love for, His Word. Ask the Lord to help you love your unsaved parents and direct them towards receiving Jesus into their lives. Do a lot of praying for God to soften their hearts and open their eyes to the truth and He will begin to work!
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