Exposing Psychology, Exalting Christ

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Q&A - How do you deal with verbal and physical abuse within the Christian community from a biblical standpoint?

Question:

How do you deal with verbal and physical abuse within the Christian community from a biblical standpoint and what is your advice for abusers that are in denial and refuse to get help.  Also, how long should a spouse of an abuser stay in the relationship.

Answer:

This is a good question and a complex one to tackle, since each situation is different and responses will therefore need to be different.
 
However, generally speaking, verbal abuse is a sin and a work of the flesh, which the Apostle Paul tells us to put off / do away with. It needs to be repented of, just like any other sin. Someone who is in denial and refusing to get help has not come to a place of agreeing with God about their sin, and turning from it. Therefore that person will continue to walk in rebellion to God and in strife with others. It is hard to help someone who doesn't want help. Sometimes that type of person has to learn the hard way through difficult circumstances, broken relationships or God's disciplining hand.
 
Regarding how long someone should stay with an abusive spouse, biblically it would be a stretch to justify divorce based on verbal abuse. The Bible teaches that adultery and abandonment are the two reasons a couple can divorce, and still have God's blessing--blessing for the partner who is the victim, that is. But if the spouse physically abuses you and puts your life at risk, this is reason to separate, because you are in physical danger.
 
Also remember that whatever reasons there are for divorce, it hurts the children involved and scars them for a lifetime. This alone is reason to stick it out in a bad marriage, for the sake of the children.
 
Ideally, no matter what the situation, God's will is always forgiveness and restitution. His heart is that couples find ways to work things out, because this glorifies God as the ultimate forgiver and restorer. He would never divorce us from being His children. We should soften our hearts and think the same.
 
We hope this helps.
 
Lisa and Ryan Bazler

 

 

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Copyright © 2002 - 2009 Lisa & Ryan Bazler

P.O. Box 864, Cardiff, CA 92007 

lisaandryan@psychologydebunked.com

Last updated: 01/27/2010

 

Note: The mission of this ministry is to inform mental sufferers and those from whom they seek help of the physical, mental and spiritual dangers of mental health disorders and treatments, and to encourage them to pursue a drug-free, psychology-free, Christ-centered life.  Visitors to this web site taking psychotropic drugs who wish to discontinue use are strongly advised to consult a qualified physician for assistance and supervision before starting the discontinuation process. This ministry and web site provides information to help visitors make the most informed decisions about their mental health, and should not replace the advice of a medical doctor.